Friday, December 9, 2011

10-12-2011

YEAH!!!!

IT'S 10TH DECEMBER!!!

3 more days...

before I free again...

from the exam...

kinda happy....

kinda sad...

because there is only one 2011...

anyway, Love Life!!

Sunday, November 27, 2011

27.11.11


Kind of slow productive day today
it's way way to slow production
Chemistry Paper 1 is on Wednesday
But I'm still there
Looking for nothing

Anyway
I'm craving for some books today
But I don't know as if I can finish them
Because I'm not a book-fetish
Not a good reader too
But yeah
Will try to have one VERY THICK BOOK
and have some read on it

But now
READ BIOLOGY AND CHEMISTRY FIRST

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

LOL and lol to myself



Sorry~~

too much emo posts liao~~

Sorry~~

too much stress liao~~

Sorry~~

too much problems liao~~

Sorry~~

too much stupid days liao~~

Sorry~~

cant say too much liao~~

Sorry~~

too much Sorry liao~~

SORRY~~

Speechless Day

speechless...

let's be speechless...

then be an invisible human...

standing there without any bright colour...

only with black and white...

maybe grey as well...

mute all the sound and voice...

stop all the movement and vibration..

no one can see...

no one can hear...


Saturday, November 12, 2011

Question of my life~


I have a lot of questions about life...
But no one gives me the answers...
I'm curious with this question this recently...(part of my questions)
What is the feeling of being treated as the most important Friend after Family and Lover?
Well, I don't think I'm a very important to my Friends,even my Besties and "Another Siblings"...
I'm not the 1st Friend to think of...
I'm not the 1st Friend to chat with...
I'm not the 1st Friend to seek help...
I'm not the 1st Friend to play with...
Anyway, I'm just Nobody to anyone...
So, I don't know what is That Feeling...

It was an very very Awkward moment...
When you treat them as the Most Important Friends...
But they treat you Differently...
Maybe they treat you in the same way...
But you don't know about it..
Because they don't tell you about it...
And they thought you know about it...
Wasn't it?

Maybe I'm born to be Nobody..
Maybe I should not put too much effort on it..
Maybe I'm Masked Rider Decade, always be Rider that passing by each World..

Butthurt and Jelly on those people...
Being the Most Important Friends to some people..
But yeah, one word "Useless" for butthurt and jelly..
Because everyone is different...
Because you're not him/her...
Because your name is not the same with him/her...
Because everyone has different stories...

But I'm just curious on it....
Hoping someone can answer me in his/her point of view...

Thursday, November 10, 2011

10/11/2011 Thursday

so sad today...

going to leave the school...

although sometimes hate it a lot...

but I always don't give a fuck on it...

I only see the bright side of it...


Going to miss everything...

Friends, Best friends, Teachers...

Chairs, Desks....

Stupid timetable, organisation charts...

but yeah, everything..

I MEAN EVERYTHING...

will miss it badly for this few days...

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Another Big Song Today~~




yes...i'm here again...
today i'm here just want to share my current mood....



Yes...this is what i felt this recently after i listened to this song..
Like it straight away...
Because it speaks for me..
anyway, readers, just listen and look through this song... 

(-^o^-)


Jay Park (Park Jae Beom) – Girlfriend Lyrics
Romanization
Neol bogiman haedo neukkimi hwakhwak gaseumi jjaritae gyesok neowana
Eodil nolleo ganeun ge sangsangdwae anijiman niga beolsseo nae yeochineuro chakgakdwae
Niga hanbeon useojumyeon gamdang andwae jangjeomeun manjeom danjeommajeo wanbyeokhae
Ni saenggak haneunge hukeusongcheoreom banbokdwae naui sarangui yeonghwa niga gamdokhae ayyy

Nae kkumsogeneun neoya neorang daehwa hallyeogo hangungmareul baeun geoya
Urineun unmyeong neon nahante orheun geoya nan oenson baksucheoreom neoneun namanui jjak
Na mideojullae bulleosseo na mideodo dwae nan gogijip geomnal ttae ansim sikyeojulge
Niga himdeureohago itgo motgyeondil ttae nan husidin ni masulcheoreom sangcheoreul eobsaejulge

Nae daehaeseo an joheun soril deullyeodo nal mideobaby
Saramdeureun nae maeumeul molla but your the onefor me
Na wollae ireochido anha yejeonen yeoja manhasseo
Jigeumbuteo neoman bolge baby your all I need
Just be my girls friend my girl friend my girl friend my girl
Be my girls friend my girl friend my girl friend my girl

Narang sagyeojullae neorang haengbokhallae
Just be my girls friend my girl friend my girl friend my girlfriend

Eodil gado yeojadeuri jjipjeokdae nan yejeone peulleiboi geurae injeonghae
Geokjeongma ttanjitarireobseo nimollae nan ojik neoya uri sarangui sidohae
Bogo sipeoseo nan jeongmal jukgenne neon gaegeumaeneun anijiman gyesok utgedwae
Neol bolttaemada hwanhage utneun nae moseubi nawa neoneun areumdaun mellodi like ladadada
Meolli nolleo gago sipeo uri chareul tago gaja mallo pyohyeonhal su eobseo gajang areumdaun yeoja
Gamgi giun eobtjiman jigeum yeolla ni sajinman bwado paencheoreom yeolgwanghae

Na wollae ireochido anha yejeonen yeoja manhasseo
Jigeumbuteo neoman bolge baby your all I need
Just be my girls friend my girl friend my girl friend my girl
Be my girls friend my girl friend my girl friend my girl

Narang sagyeojullae neorang haengbokhallae
Just be my girls friend my girl friend my girl friend my girlfriend

Amuri bwado your a cutie uri durineun jeongmal jareoullyeo
Naneun ojik neoppuniya
Naman jom mideobwa Ooh cheonnyeon sarado neo gateun yeoja
Dasin mot bolgeotgata
So please be my baby

Just be my girls friend my girl friend my girl friend my girl
Be my girls friend my girl friend my girl friend my girl

Narang sagyeojullae neorang haengbokhallae
Just be my girls friend my girl friend my girl friend my girlfriend

English Translation
Just by looking at you, the feelings come – it’s electrifying
I keep imagining you and me going somewhere together
You’re not but I keep mistaking you as my girlfriend
If you smile at me just once, I can’t handle it
Your good traits are 10 out of 10, even your flaws are perfect
Your thoughts repeat just like a hook from a song
You’re the director to my movie of love

In my dream, it’s you
I learned Korean in order to talk to you
We are meant to be – I’ve been infected with you
Just like my left hand claps, you are my only pair
I sang, will you believe me? Yes, you can believe me
I’m a meat restaurant, when you’re scared, I’ll order some assurance^
When you can’t take on the hardships,
Like Houdini’s magic, I will make your scars vanish

Even if you hear bad things about me, trust me baby
People don’t know how I feel but you’re the one for me
I’m not normally like this – I used to have a lot of girls before
But from now on, I will only look at you – baby you’re all I need
Just be my girlfriend, my girlfriend, my girlfriend, my girl
Be my girlfriend, my girlfriend, my girlfriend, my girl

Will you go out with me?
I want to be happy with you
Just be my girlfriend, my girlfriend, my girlfriend, my girlfriend

Wherever I go, girls hit on me
Yes, I admit, I used to be a playboy in the past
But don’t worry, I’m not going to secretly do something else
I only have you – let’s give our love a try
I miss you so much that I could die
You’re not a comedian but you keep making me laugh
Every time I see you, my brightly smiling face appears
You are a beautiful melody like ladadada
I want to travel far away with you – Let’s take the train and go
I can’t express this with words – you’re the most beautiful girl
I don’t have a cold but I have a fever
Just looking at your picture makes me swoon like a fan

I’m not normally like this – I used to have a lot of girls before
But from now on, I will only look at you – baby you’re all I need
Just be my girlfriend, my girlfriend, my girlfriend, my girl
Be my girlfriend, my girlfriend, my girlfriend, my girl

Will you go out with me?
I want to be happy with you
Just be my girlfriend, my girlfriend, my girlfriend, my girlfriend

No matter how much I look, you’re a cutie
We look really good together
I only have you
Please believe in me
Even if I live a thousand years, I will never see a girl like you
So please be my baby

Just be my girlfriend, my girlfriend, my girlfriend, my girl
Be my girlfriend, my girlfriend, my girlfriend, my girl

Will you go out with me?
I want to be happy with you
Just be my girlfriend, my girlfriend, my girlfriend, my girlfriend

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Specially written for some people....

-THIS POST IS SPECIAL JUST FOR SELECTED 13 FRIENDS ONLY-

to: t-H-ose k-I-ndly c-A-n hia-O-



Have you found anything weird this recently?

Anything "gone and disappeared"?

Ever feel "Why?" after you found it?

Feel "sad", "disappointed","angry","happy" or "NOTHING"?

"NOT DEMOCRATIC for making this decision?"

yes, we all are not democratic..

why not?



"you guys want to have gathering at where?"

"any place", "随便", "just tell me where after you guys decide"

it happens among us, including me..



Next,

i found out this phenomena happened to me

MOST OF THE TIME

"[video] so funny...XD"
(no response)

"[song] i like this song..."
(no response)

"[words] from LeozLim"
(no response)

For those who thinks this way towards me:

-Read-
WHAT??
AM I RIDICULOUS TO YOU???
AM I TALK RUBBISH???

AM I SHARE SOMETHING NONSENSE AND USELESS???
AM I IDIOT SO NO NEED TO READ AND DO NOTHING???

ACT CHILDISH SO IGNORE ME??
FEEL DISGUSTED ON ME SO KEPT AWAY FROM ME??
TOO BOSSY AND GOSSIPING SO DOESN'T CARE??


DON'T TELL ME YOU NEVER ACT CHILDISH
DON'T TELL ME YOU NEVER SHARE SOMETHING NONSENSE

DON'T TELL ME YOU NEVER GOSSIPING
DON'T TELL ME YOU NEVER TALK RUBBISH

-End-



THANK YOU
For being my special friends
because i know you guys will never feel this to me...

I want to say something here,
I don't like to be ignored.
I don't like to be abandoned by someone I like.
I'm not sharing things with Internet.

It is a very scary things to me when no one is responds to me.
I don't know who likes my posts.
I don't know who really sees my posts.
I don't know who you guys feel.

I know you guys don't like to be abandoned and ignored as well.
That's why I created this group.

But when the group was ignored,
I felt the pain.
Because I created this.
It  feels like it was my fault.

When I was being ignored,
I felt like an useless person.
I'm no longer in this group.

"Am I just an organiser of event for this group?"
"Am I just a reporter in this group?"
"Am I just an informer for this group?"

"Why you guys seems doesn't care about me?"
"Why you guys are not worrying me?"
"Why you guys caring are each other but not me?"
"Am I always look having happy day everyday?"

I wonder many things everyday.

I'm not a ghost nor shadow.
I'm just a typical human being.

THANK YOU AGAIN
For those responded to me.
I appreciated your responses.

Besides,
The disbandment of this group,
It was my own idea
IT IS NOT RELATED TO ANYONE
AND
It is just TEMPORARY.


Don't be sad, don't be curious, don't be disappointed.
It's not I don't want to discuss with you all.
It's not I don't want to tell you all this decision.
It just that I don't want anyone of you quarrel each other to accept or decline this decision.

Plus,
I'm tired already.
I need to get rest.
It's not easy to keep a good relationship with you guys.
Because you guys are my best friends.
My special friends,
My another family members.
And I want to maintain the friendship.

I need to keep everyone of you stay cool and connecting.
To avoid more conflicts, more misunderstandings.
I don't know everything, but at least I know more.

It doesn't mean I want to stop everything between us.
NO
I DIDN'T MEANT IT AT ALL

I have stress and pressure, so do you guys.
I have many problems, so do you guys.
I don't want to burden you guys.
I don't want to make foolish things when I'm down.
And I don't want to hurt you guys,
as I easily hurt others when I'm stressed.

"It's not related to the disbandment.."
"Why don't you just ignored it? You don't have to disband it at all."
Still thought of that?
I can answer you.

Yes, I need to disband it for a while.
Because I don't see everyone so appreciate it.
Or you viewed it but do nothing after that?
Since you guys do nothing, then I just thought you guys didn't saw it...

Anyway, I don't know what to write now...
Just ask or argue or disagree me or anything you want to do..

I don't mind if you don't believe my words,
but I'll don't think our past few years' friendship is just a game.

Thanks for everything.
 (^-^)

From:
LL



Thursday, September 15, 2011

3 months later~~

3 months later,
who am I?
someone that is very happy?
someone that is very sad?
someone that is very excited?

3 months later,
what am I going to do?
working?
learning?
sleeping?
hair-dying?
new haircut?
spamming?
night-watchman?

3 months later,
why am I doing all these?












BECAUSE IT'S THE LAST DAY OF STPM!!!!!

Awh Mai Gawd!!
 I'm so excited waiting for this day!!
but I have to struggle and sacrifice many things around me...
I have to say "Sorry" if you're in my list...

After 3 months,
"Alpha Q"~~

Monday, September 12, 2011


(\.../).(\.../)
(•‿•)·(•‿•) ❤Happy Moon cake festival 中秋节快乐~❤
/(▒)\··/(▓)\☆╮★╭☆╮··月圆人圆共团圆··╭☆╮★╭☆╮
•❤ღ♥ღ✿‿<ღ♥•❤ღ♥ღ✿‿<ღ♥•❤ღ♥ღ✿‿<ღ♥♥ღ✿‿<•❤
▀▀▀▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▀▀▀▄❤❤ 中秋节快乐❤有情人终成眷属 ❤❤
█▒▒░░░░░░░░░▒▒█❤▀█▀ ░ █░░ █▀█ █░█ █▀▀ ░ █░█
─█░░█░░░░░█░░█─❤░█░ ░ █░░ █░█ █░█ █▀▀ ░ █░█
──█░░░▀█▀░░░█──❤▀▀▀ ░ ▀▀▀ ▀▀▀ ░▀░ ▀▀▀ ░ ▀▀▀
❤❤❤✰‿↗⁀❉❤❉‿↗⁀╰✰ √ ✰╮‿↗⁀❉❤❉‿↗⁀✰❤❤❤
... ... ❤❤❤┏〓〓┓┏〓〓┓┏〓〓┓┏〓〓┓┏〓〓┓
... ❤❤❤┃祝福┃┃好友┃┃中秋┃┃佳节┃┃愉快┃
... ❤❤❤┗〓〓┛┗〓〓┛┗〓〓┛┗〓〓┛┗〓〓┛
... ❤❤❤✰‿↗⁀❉❤❉‿↗⁀╰✰ √ ✰╮‿↗⁀❉❤❉‿↗⁀✰❤❤❤
... ❤❤❤♡☆平安☆ ☆快乐☆ ☆心想☆ ☆事成☆♡
~H@PpY MiD-AuTUMn FEst1v@L~
  ◢████◣      ◢████◣
◢◤    ◥◣    ◢◤    ◥◣
◤      ◥◣  ◢◤      █
▎  ◢█◣  ◥◣◢◤  ◢█   █
◣ ◢◤ ◥◣      ◢◣ ◥◣◢◤
◥█◤ ◢◤         ◥◣
    █ ●       ● █
    █ 〃   ▄   〃 █ ~中秋节 快乐
    ◥◣   ╚╩╝   ◢◤
     ◥█▅▃▃ ▃▃▅█◤
       ◢◤   ◥◣ 
       █     █ 
      ◢◤▕   ▎◥◣
     ▕▃◣◢▅▅▅◣◢▃ 




   ◢◤●◥◣◢◤●◥◣◢◤●◥◣
◢◤┏━┓ █ ┏━┓ █ ┏━┓ ◥◣
█ ┃乐┃  █ ┃中┃ █ ┃秋┃ █
◥◣┗━┛ █ ┗━┛ █ ┗━┛ ◢◤
  ◥◣ao◢◤◥◣ao◢◤◥◣ao◢◤
     ┗┯┛  ┗┯┛  ┗┯┛
         ◆ 合家 ◆ 欢乐 ◆
         ◆ 幸福 ◆ 安康 ◆



 ╔♂╗  ┏┯┓┏┯┓┏┯┓┏┯┓  ╔♀╗
┃★┃┠中┨┠秋┨┠快┨┠乐┨┃☆┃
┃☆┃┗┷┛┗┷┛┗┷┛┗┷┛┃★┃
 ╚♂╝     ↘  *≡美≡满≡幸≡福≡*↙      ╚♀╝



↓     ↓      ↓     ↓
☆★☆   ☆★☆    ☆★☆   ☆★☆
☆ 中 ☆ ☆ 秋 ☆  ☆ 快 ☆ ☆ 乐 ☆
☆★☆   ☆★☆    ☆★☆   ☆★☆
↓     ↓      ↓     ↓

 

 *╭╮ ╭╮  ╭╮
││ ││  │└╮
╭┴┴─┴Ⅲ╮ └─╯
│ ﹋ ﹋ │   ╭────────╮
│ ∩ ∩ │ ╭╮│☆中 秋 节 快 乐☆ │
│  ▽  │O╰╯╰────────╯
╰─m∞m─╯
╭╮☆╭╧╮╭╧╮╭╧╮╭╧╮╭ ☆〞
╰幸╮│送││ ││祝││福│╰快 ╮
☆╰福╘∞╛╘∞╛╘∞╛╘∞╛☆ 乐
让开 让开
╭══╮
╭╯ΘΘ ║
╰⊙═⊙╯ 送月饼咯 中秋 快 乐


╭╧╮╭╧╮╭╧╮╭╧╮╭╧╮╭╧╮╭╧╮╭╧╮
 ║祝│ ║大│ ║家│ ║中│ ║秋│ ║节│  ║快│  ║乐│
  ╘∞╛ ╘∞╛   ╘∞╛   ╘∞╛  ╘∞╛  ╘∞╛    ╘∞╛  ╘∞╛ 


 ╭☆╮╭★╮╭☆╮╭★╮╭☆╮
   ║中║ ║秋║    ║节║  ║快║  ║乐║
 ╰★╯╰☆╯╰★╯╰☆╯╰★╯




~祝(^^(oo)^^)祝~ 大家

░ 祝░中░秋░節░快░樂░
♥♥░(¯`:´¯)░♥ ♥ 月圓人團圓 ♥
░.(¯ `.\|/.•´¯)♥ ♥ ღ♡ღ (。◕‿◕。)ღ♡ღ
... ░(`♥•.(۞).•´¯)░(¯`:´¯)♥ ♥快樂平安幸福
░ (_.•´/|\`•._)(¯ `•.\|/.•´¯)
祝你中秋节快乐! ~~~

Friday, September 9, 2011

Message To YH

Dear YH:
             
It has been 19 years...
You have lost so many chances in your life...
You have lost so many chances to get what you want...
You can't achieve what you want even though you fought for it for some time...
Are you nerd or something, dude??
What makes you hold a thing for so long??
Don't you feel tired or something??
BE REALISTIC, could you?
You're not Superman, even Superman has a weakness..

You seems so stressed and tired now.. Have some rest and don't think too much....

                                                                                                                                        From:
                                                                                                                                           -LL-

Thursday, August 11, 2011


one of my favourite songs~

it's Megan Nicole with her song, 

B-e-a-utiful

Verse 1
She read me the note he left on her bed
Snuck in her room right after she left
And put petals on the ground
Her head on his shoulder they walk down the hall
I'm left to wonder will I ever fall in love
And where is he now

Prechorus
She's with him, I'm in the back seat
Know it's not right but it hurts when they're laughing
And I've never been where they are

Chorus
I wanna be blown away
I wanna be swept off my feet
I wanna meet the one who makes it hard for me to breathe
I wanna be lost in love
I wanna be your dream come true
I wanna be scared of how strong I feel for you
Just call me beautiful, Call me beautiful
Call me beautiful, Call me b-e-a-utiful

Verse 2
Friday night she wore his jersey to the game
In the front row screamin out his name
As he turns to her and smiles
Every where I look people holding hands
When am I gonna get my chance at love
My chance at love

Prechorus 2
Cuz she's with him, I'm still hurting
Try to pretend but it's not working
I just wanna be where they are

Chorus
I wanna be blown away
I wanna be swept off my feet
I wanna meet the one who makes it hard for me to breathe
I wanna be lost in love
I wanna be your dream come true
I wanna be scared of how strong I feel for you
Just call me beautiful, Call me beautiful
Call me beautiful, Call me b-e-a-utiful

Bridge
My heart is waiting for your love
My hand is waiting for your touch
My lips just wanna be kissed by you

Chorus
I wanna be blown away
I wanna be swept off my feet
I wanna meet the one who makes it hard for me to breathe
I wanna be lost in love
I wanna be your dream come true
I wanna be scared of how strong I feel for you
Just call me beautiful, Call me beautiful
Call me beautiful, Call me b-e-a-utiful

Beautiful, Call me beautiful
Call me beautiful, Call me b-e-a-utiful

~END~

well, i don't know why i like this song~`

but somehow it's addicting to replay and sing along~~ ^^

SO LET'S SING THIS SONG TOGETHER!!!

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Happy 1ST ANNIVERSARY!!!!!!!

muaahahahahahahah!!!

muahahahaahahahah!!!!

muahahahahaahahah!!!!!

Dear readers,

thanks for followed me for 1 year~~

YES! YES! AND YES!

it's the 1ST ANNIVERSARY for this Blog~~

it's 8th August~~~

well, i'm feel sorry for being not that stay updated using this blogger...

i will try to update through here anytime... =P

anyway, i just want to share at here is the INTERNATIONAL FRIENDSHIP DAY..

it was celebrated at the first sunday of  August around the world..

well, thanks to a friend of mine for telling about this...

and fortunately, i'm able to celebrate it with my friends through messaging~~~

here, again, i would like to say that "HAPPY FRIENDSHIP DAY"!!!

and thanks for being my friend for this while...


love you guys~~~ <3


Quote of the blog: 
Life's not about the people who act true to your face. 
It's about the people who remain true behind your back.


Thursday, August 4, 2011

almost thr~~~~~

 something is there waiting for me~~~~~

so excited....

so motivated....

IF THIS IS SUCCESSFUL, THEN I'LL BE MORE PREPARED!!!!

Monday, July 4, 2011

7/4/2011

4th day of July,

a different day for me...

I feel, think, learn and respond differently...

I think I should confirm the decision...

no matter what happened...


Quote:
Life is not about searching for the things that could be found.
Its about letting the unexpected happen.
Finding things you never searched for....

credit to : QuotesNSmiles and Sern03 for sharing...

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

FIRST DAY OF JUNE!!!!


Yeah, it's 1st of June!!!

"What does it means?"

it means a lot....

to me...

first thing:

Happy Children's Day!!!!!

i'm still consider myself as a child...

well, there's no Adult's Day in Malaysia...

anyway, i'm happy today!!! *wink wink*

second thing:

Happy Gawai Day!!!!

so weird when i write it in English...

-Again-

Selamat Hari Gawai!!!

~better~

well, i managed to meet up with my best friends today...

christine, bernadette, and vivien....

quite a long time since we bitched together last time...

so today,

we managed to laugh and talk together...

since everyone is fine, so i'm fine too..

anyway,

no picture or photo uploaded...

so,

good night everyone..

i'm going to watch “49 days”

[it's a Korean drama...well, i'm strongly recommend this drama...don't ask me why, JUST WATCH IT!!]




Monday, May 9, 2011

提早的低潮期~~

不知道,
这几天,
在烦恼什么。。

不知道,
什么时候,
自己变成,
这么落魄。。

不知道,
什么时候,
可以让我抛开,
那些烦恼,
那些多虑。。

不知道,
什么时候,
身边的事情,
紧紧地烙印在心里,
想忘也忘不了,
深深地影响,
接下来走的路。。

想了又想,
想了又想,
想了又想,
应该是时候,
放下手上,
紧握的,
某些人事物,
或者,
放下手上,
所有的一切。。

也许,
这是人生中,
重大的一步,
也许,
对你,
对我,
对他,
是一件好事,
也有可能是坏事。。

放掉?
还是,
握着?
没人晓得。。
只有时间,
能断定这一切。。

Sunday, April 24, 2011

It's Gloomy Sunday~~

灰色星期天,
难道就是指的是~
今天吗?


今天,
小孩很灰~
很灰。。。


今天,
小孩很累~
很累。。。


不知道为何,
今天,
心灵,
外壳,
身心,
都很累~
很疲倦~
很疲倦。。。


整个人,
都没有精神,
似乎断了魂。。。


按键盘,
都没有力气,
似乎断了掌。。。


今天,
一夜之间,

想起了很多事情:
友情,亲情,爱情,人情~


被问起小孩的事时,
突然想了很多。。。

快乐的,
悲伤的,
感动的,
无数的故事,
无数的想法,
无数的问题,
一直数不清,
浮现出来。。。


似乎,
临死之前,
生命的点点滴滴,
一点一滴地飘浮在脑海里~
生命的回忆,
一片一片地在脑海里重播。。。


灰色的小孩,
想着,
想了,
又想着,
又想了,
辉煌又灰暗的故事。。。

有很多很多的故事,
是小孩,
来不及消化,
来不及思考,
来不及伤心,
来不及开心,
来不及哭泣,
来不及欢笑,
来不及分享,
来不及诉苦~
导致小孩只要藏起来。。。


藏着藏着,
再也没有出来~
藏着藏着,
早已经习惯了。。。


永远很灰的小孩,
就像颜色笔,
灰色,
往往都夹在,
黑色与白色之间
永远,
都比其他颜色笔长,
看得较宽,
听得较细,
等得较久。。。


一个人,
孤独地,
慢慢地,
变短。。。


很少人,
会想用灰色~
很少人,
会想起灰色~


就算,
没有了灰色,
很少人会发现,
就算,
没有了灰色,
黑色与白色,
还能制造新的灰色。。。


知道自己很灰的小孩,
想尽办法让自己,
变成辉煌的灰色,
不过,
始终都是一个灰色,
很容易地,
被遗忘,
被错过,
被误解,
被忽略。。。


朋友啊,
请不要怪灰色小孩的自我,
不是他不要说,
只是他不知从哪开口。。。


朋友啊,
请不要怪灰色小孩的自私,
不是他不相信,
只是他不相信自己。。。


朋友啊,
请不要怪灰色小孩的自闭,
不是他不分享,
只是他跟自己过不去。。。


朋友啊,
请不要怪灰色小孩的自爱,
不是他不述说,
只是他需要时间放下身段。。。


朋友啊,
永远灰色的小孩,
不是想象中的坚强,
不是想象中的爱笑,
不是想象中的快乐,
不是想象中的活泼。。。


只是,
比较少露出软弱的一面,
比较少露出哭泣的一面,
比较少露出悲伤的一面,
比较少露出堕落的一面。。。

Saturday, January 1, 2011

It's 2011!!!!!!!

hello readers....
and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

I'm here to wish you all will have a very cheerful and good year in 2011...
I'm also wishing myself to be strong enough to face the challenges in this year...

well, today I'm here to share with you guys on what i did on last 28/12-30/12 2010...
on these days, I've attended a counseling course named "Mapping Youth Future" a.k.a.
"唤醒青少年并规划他们的未来" under Yongiway organized by 林氏公会...

only Lilin knew that I've attended this course because she and her mum suggested me to join..

in this 3 days, I've been busy for whole day and felt a large-scaled tiredness....
the reason is the course took 13 hours per day, which is from 8.00am to 9.00pm...

on the first day(28/12/2010), I've been taught on how to be adaptable to environment, fast and creative...
well, i think I'm quite good in performing these skills...nothing to be worry about..
we(11 members) have worked together as a family of Horse(according to Chinese Horoscope).....
it was a tough day for me to become a good leader because some of my member wasn't put 100% input during the activity...they doesn't open enough to work, discuss even talk...
i can't blame that because everyone needs their own time to adapt to the new and unfamiliar environment..

then, we have sang Happy Birthday song using our family's voices, so horse's voice was used by us to sing the song...the event is funny, because I'm thinking on how to "talk" as a horse...

then we were also danced according to the animal's special characteristic..
everything doesn't proceed as i planned and the performance was kind of 4/10 marks..

not even that,we have created our own cake according to our family's animal..
and together,we have created a cake of our mentor's face..
here, we played with the cake and team worked together in this task...quite a happy ending..XD

then, we have released our anger by scramble the yoga mat...
we(male member) have scrambled 2 towels until the towels torn up...

after that, we have learnt how to train our vocal and volume...
we are also did a meditation to release our anger...
lastly, we have learnt how to sing a song with different expressions..
and also practiced to sing "You Raise Me Up" by Westlife..

second day(29/12/2010), we still continued with Dr.Yong's lecture and group discussions..
then continued our song practicing activity..
after that, we have learnt how to release stress and relax our mind and body, by "Laughing and Vomit Hardly"
well, this is a part where i can't perform well,because you need to laugh hardly, then vomit...
i can laugh, but i can't vomit in front of many people, into a plastic bag with some transparency...

the next thing we did is another meditation to express the sadness part of us...
then, we are also exposed another way to release our anger by "Hit the Mattress"
it was a fun activity because you would be relaxed after you doing this...
and my both hands were injured by the mattress..

right after having lunch, we started to create our own 舞狮...
but in this case, we have create according to our family's animal...
and for my team, we have to create 舞马...
it was a difficult task for us because it is difficult to create the head of a horse..
besides, we are also need to create our own material to create melody and rhythm..
on 7.30pm, the "Animal Dance"competition was started...
on the competition, our group have won "The Best Drum Award"...
for the event, i have learnt some skills on 舞狮...
and i'm hoping that i can learn more in future...

on the third day(30/12/2010),which is the last day, we have a lots of lectures to be attend..
then, we have a "Imagine & Express" which we have to face to face on one of our member(one on one)..
with the help of hand-to-hand and songs, we are able to express everything in the deepest of our heart..
honestly,all of us were cried...

later, again, we all hold our hand,
and together,
in a comfortable environment and songs,
shares and expresses our feelings and stories..
then, Dr. Yong told us about his past stories...

after that, we are exposed another way to express our anger,
other than "Hit The Mattress",called "Get Up If You Can"..
in this activity, a person will lay on a mattress,
then about 6-7 people will hold that person so he/she cant get up...
thus, the person will used his/her energies to fight so he/she can get up..
it was a tiring and sore throat event for me, because it requires a lot of energies...

after the activity, we all gathered together for the last discussion...
and it will be our last practice for singing...
it was a sad part for me,because we all will going to separate and continues our own live in future..
after that, on 7.30pm, our graduation event was started...
we all have sang  "Negaraku " and "You Raise Me Up" together...
it was very touching event there...

after all the coarse, I really learnt a lot of things..no matter from my team, even from Dr.Yong..
Sixth sense, thinking thought's killer, don't think, do only ONE time of revision...
even some of his thoughts are the same with mine, which that thoughts were not acceptable by most of the people...and i feel proud of that...XD


as a conclusion,
3 days were the most tiring days for me, because it took about 12 hours there...
3 days were the most successful days for me, because most of the activity i can fully participate,
and be a good leader...
3 days were the most failure days for me, because i can't fully socialize with others,
as I'm quite an "old man"  at there and I'm from different school than others...
and i didn't really make a friend too, as i didn't take their Facebook account and handphone number...
even my own group, i don't have their Facebook account or handphone number and even i didn't take picture with them....and that's make me so down...
but luckily, I'm accidentally found some of them through Facebook....and that's make me feel lucky..
maybe it's a new year gift for me...

Anyways, Happy New Year to my family, friends and people around me...XD