HELLO AUGUST!!

It's been a while since my last post on here.
Totally forgot what I posted in the last post.

However,
I'm back again.

Back to blogging.
But I don't know what to blog.

Let's start with my life throughout this year.

So far, everything runs quite smooth.
Good thing, bad thing.
Good news, bad news.
Good fortune, bad triumph.
Problems there, solutions here.


Quite enjoyed the moment actually
When you try to think back,
It's something that can be an experience,
A memory,
A topic to talk about when you are getting older.

Yes!!
I'm old now.
Emerging adults stage.
Quarter life crisis happening to me.
Start to change yourself to become a better person.

21 years old.
Good memories when my friends celebrated with me.
3 days of celebration party.
Totally crazy.
But yet, I still love them as my besties, not breasts.

Maybe it will be my best memories ever of the year.
Maybe it won't also.
Because it's only August.
4 months left to celebrate 2014.
To say goodbye to 2013.
I'm very sure that I'll have good memories for the next 4 months as well.

Is it long enough for my post today?
I don't think so.
So let me continue.

Throughout my First Year Second Semester of my university life,
Shits happened a lot.
Being sabotaged,
Being annoyed,
Being bad to myself.

However,
I would appreciate that experience.
For being "pretending to be nice and caring",
For being "overly-concerned"
For being "follower"
For being "too attached"

Don't know about it,
But I'll try to ignore that.
Who the fuck to care about that?

Yeah, that fucker somehow is myself.
Not to care, but have to care about it.
Because it was coming out from one of my besties.

But everything's fine for me now.
I'm easy to forgive people.
Because I trust people easily.

Somehow, sometimes I wonder,
Why it is so hard for some people to trust others?
Why you have to close your heart to tightly?
I even asked myself.
I would answer,
"I would not trust people because they are strangers to me"
But is that everyone thinking of?
I don't know.
But WHO CARES?
I won't care except to those who are important to me, like my besties on this Earth.

Anyway,
There're lots of good things too.
Being Wakil Sains Kognitif a.k.a. Students' Representative for Cognitive Science.
Being involved in many activities,
Like drama, choir, dance, performances.
Being an organiser for fund-raising concert, 
Which was quite a successful event for me.
Too much until I can't think of others.
Overall, i think my university life for this semester was fun and colourful
Not many complaints about it.
But at least it wasn't as dull as those nerds right?

=D

what a day to emo

sometimes

i would just shut up

dont wan to care anything else

两个月了

两个月了

新的开始

新的生活

新的朋友

新的屋檐

新的环境

两个月了

新的志向

新的梦想

新的理想

新的想法

新的思考

新的经验

但是

两个月了

就因为很新

旧的渐渐地离开

很多事情

本来应该知道的

往往都是不让晓得

很累很累

很突然

心变得很累

也许

新的生活

更需要更坚强

更冷酷

更不需要陪伴

不需要鼓励

真的很怕

有一天

真的不行时

不晓得

会有谁可以当

一个背后灵

一个肩膀

一个从前面拉

一个从后面推

July, finally you came.. 02/07/2012

This is the first post where I'm blogging using a smartphone... Kinda hard to find an application for this Windows Phone.. But finally found this, but you can't view your own previous posts and even your following friends.. It won't cause any troubles for me because I just want to write a blog here... Anyway, this month would be a tough month for me. A month where I decides my future. Sounds so serious, but it's a funny matter. -THE END-

A Very Frustrating 26th May 2012

To Lim:

Life matter again.

How long will I suffer this thing?

It just so frustrating.

Make me tensed some more.

I can't hold that pressure for too long.

My brain will going to be burst if I keep on thinking of it.

It's about my life.

My future life.

My family's life.

My family's future life.

My lifestyle.

My time.

My everything.

FOR MY WHOLE LIFE.

I have to make the decision as fast as possible.

So I wouldn't spend my time for doing nothing and get nothing.

So this is really pissed me off.

Towards myself.

For being not strict on my choices.

This is really not myself.

I can't blame it too.

Things changes from time to time.

So I have to adapt to the changes.

Until I forgot who am I.

I forgot how strong am I last time.

How brave am I last time.

To fight with my will.

Now,

I am.

Like a blind.

Like a deaf.

Lost myself again.

No will to fight.

No brave to face.

No spirit to fulfil. 

Choices are there.

But I'm no longer can choose one.

Like I used to be.

"Just take one and enjoy the moments"

No longer.

I can stay with the choice I chose longer.

Like I used to be.

"I'll show you that my choice is right"

Now.

I only can say.

"Anything as I can go through"

"You choose it for me."

"I'm flexible"

Well.

It's wasn't "me"

That I like before.

The one stand his points steadily.

The one surprised everyone by his thoughts.

The one that never ever wants to lose.

The one that change things,not the one being changed.

The one that is so naive person.

Now,

I just want to have a rest.

I just want to have a zero thoughts.

I just don't want my brain cells to work.

For some moments.

So I can wake up freshly.

Without thinking anything.

So that I can find myself again.

Or create my new self.

Maybe stronger.

Maybe tougher.

Maybe faster.

I hope things can be done quickly.

So I should rest more.

To gain back all power and will.
To make decision.

Please,

Be good to yourself.

Be yourself.

Love yourself.

Sincerely,

Leo

She's The One For The Moment "520"

To All who wonders and wanders:

On the end of May,

 Newcomers arrived with different expression.

I'm still the one, full with curiosity that kills the cats, 

Looking everything for fun.

Saw everyone, with different hair types.

But I remembered one the most: long with wavy and curly hair.

Didn't saw the face, only the figure line the back.

It was a very very someday of June, (somehow I forgot whether it's June or July)

Things suddenly went very funny,
Everyone is laughing at the name.
"Wong Fei Hong", "Kui Fei Long"

Hei Fei Long Hong etc etc.
But somehow we don't know who she is.
And I'm only remembered that there's a long curly and wavy hair girl.


"Could it be her?"
I asked.


"Yes, it's her, indeed."
He replied.


It was still nothing at that time,
until I saw her again,
where I was always been there,
for 7 years.


Finally, I saw her.
The funny name jokes,
The stories about her,
The long wavy and curly hair girl.
"It's her."


Well, she's just a simple girl,
simple as having a simple life,
simple as on her appearance,
simple as a normal girl that passing by.


But the weird things happened,
I'm still remember her,
I saw something different from her.
She's normal for everyone but it just different for me.
Kept thinking here and there.
But I just ignore it.


Days to days,
Weeks to weeks,
We still the same,
having the same jokes,
having our life fun and chilled.
However,
I felt something different about me towards her.
Definitely, 
She Is Something To Me.


Since that moment,
She gets into my life.
I kept thinking of her，
For no reason.


One day at the end of July,
I've found her through a social networking website.
I can't believe it, but I was so happy.
So, I added her as friend, without thinking any circumstances.
It's not a fault right?
And yes,
She approved me to be her friend.
Making me so happy again.


It was a midnight Saturday,
but she's there.
So I'm making my first step to chat with her.
I admit that I am not a talkative when chatting with unknown people.
So I was so scared and worried,
that our conversation ended fast and with awkward moments.
Yet, our conversation was just good to me,
I'm satisfied with it,
since it lasted longer than I thought.


Again, I'm very happy and shared my "happiness" to my brothers,
"Happiness" where I put a new special person in my heart,
"Happiness" where I appreciated and saved another moments in my memory,
"Happiness" where I was never felt it for a long time since few years back.


Since then, 
I became her friend,
Chatting with her when we're free.
Teaching each other on life,
Getting better with each other.


Everything she done to me,
Everything she said to me,
Every moments we have,
Buried deep within my heart.
Making me "syok" myself, 
whenever,
wherever.
It still fun,
It still warming, 
It still meaningful,
It still exciting.
Indeed,
It's one-sided love.


Well, that's what I want to share today, since it's 520 day.
Happy Day Earth! =D

Life at 12/5/2012

Annyeong Ladies and Gentlemen~

It has been a long time since my previous update.  

I think it's about 2 or 3 posts for 2012.

Kinda lazy, but what can do?

When I want to blog, something is blocking my way.

When I don't want to blog, nothing crossed my mind.

So, forgive me if you cant see any updates from me.

And yeah, I'm TOO full of P & C (Privacy and Confidentiality)

YES,INDEED.  I'M MAXIMISED WITH P & C!

Well, that's pros and cons behind-the-story.

But the cons dominate more.

But I can't do anything.

It became parts of my life already.

Everything, I mean, things that happened in my life.

I'll just stay quiet,.

Not saying out, but swallow and digest it within my heart.

This is what I'm doing for the 20 years.

Sad isn't it?

Nah~~

Sad what?

Everyone is doing the same.

But I admit it that I keep too much for myself.

I don't know why, but... but... but... 

I just don't know why.

Maybe I have psychological disorder.

Yes, maybe I have psychological disorder due to bad memories I guess?

Hmmm~~ I can't even remember of any bad memories.

Too bad I guess until can't remember.

Well, anyway,

I'm sorry if you guys can't know me well.

Because I never know myself well too.

SO it's a very very pathetic me.

I'm just so emo this recently.

Don't know why, but something is there keep on flying here and there.

Makes me so struggle to overcome it in a day.

It's about my life for the next few months, few years or even my whole life.

I really hate it when it comes to decision on my life.

Maybe I'm just too creative till everyone expect to get what they hope from me.

Come on guys, surprise me.

Surprise how special am I.

Surprise how good am I.

Surprise how excellent am I.

Show me the proves.

Do tell me with proof.

Because I don't know how am I went through my life.

I don't think I'm good as you guys see or said.

Maybe I didn't see it by my own.

But I always marked myself as a F grade human.

Not much special about me.

But why people look me as different as what I thought on myself?

Maybe I'm too strict on myself?

Maybe I'm too depressed on myself?

or maybe those compliments are all FAKE?

Well, I can't see myself without proof.

Talking and saying how good am I won't make sense for me to believe it.

Anyway, let's just off grid and sleep.

Shall we?

 Goodnight!

Love you all.